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I can show you how to get there, sure. But if you don't know how to get to eBay, you're definitely not up to using it.
2:10 PM Feb 19th via TweetDeck
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Yeah, thanks for the chocolate. But, you see, I have this policy about eating things that might have crazy on them.
2:25 PM Feb 11th via TweetDeck
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Yes, very stoned young man, you may 'stop by again a little later'. There's no one-visit-per-day policy at the library.
1:02 PM Jan 25th via TweetDeck
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Wow. A lot of people--a lot--tell me they're computer illiterate and they'll need lots of help. But you, sir, really weren't kidding around.
11:17 AM Dec 10th, 2009 via TweetDeck
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Usually, more fragrant patrons are not my favorites. But you, Old Man Who Smells Like Pipe Smoke, can loiter by my desk as long as you want.
11:07 AM Oct 31st, 2009 via TweetDeck
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I'm sure you're not thrilled that you smell like that either, but boy do I wish I hadn't leaned in to answer your question.
4:40 PM Oct 16th, 2009 via TweetDeck
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Yeah, I can help you get to the FAFSA, but I can't really fill it out for you.
11:23 AM Oct 15th, 2009 via TweetDeck
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No, plugging your phone into the USB port and copying photos off does not constitute using it as a modem. Yes, I'm sure.
4:12 PM Oct 14th, 2009 via TweetDeck
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Sure, we have a phone book. But the computer you've been using for MySpace for 2 hrs is a *computer*. And it's connected to the *internet*.
12:38 PM Oct 13th, 2009 via TweetDeck
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Sorry little fella; I'm afraid we don't have any real spellbooks from which you can learn to do real magic.
3:56 PM Oct 8th, 2009 via txt
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Ma'am, I'm not the smartest librarian ever. Lots of us can help you to print a pdf. Thanks for the compliment. The hug was a little much.
3:57 PM Sep 24th, 2009 via txt
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A year-old Grisham book? And we already have 12 copies? And it was discarded by a neighboring library? Such a donation! you're too kind.
7:27 PM Sep 21st, 2009 via TweetDeck
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Listen, I'm not saying you're not cute. I'm just saying nobody in the library needs to see your crack.
3:23 PM Sep 18th, 2009 via txt
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Look, old dude: Harlequin romances set in the old west are not the same thing as westerns. Nobody's judging, you're just not fooling anyone.
4:48 PM Sep 4th, 2009 via TweetDeck
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No, you can't type on that PDF. Some PDFs, sure, but not that one. No, you didn't type on that PDF last time you were here, I assure you.
2:05 PM Sep 2nd, 2009 via web
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Yes, we have your school's summer reading list. Sadly, all our copies of the books have been checked out for several weeks.
11:57 AM Aug 28th, 2009 via txt
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Dear Old Man Swearing Under Your Breath, I don't think you're being as quiet as you think you are. Whatever; you make me smile every time.
2:59 PM Aug 26th, 2009 via TweetDeck
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Also, nobody else wants to hear the emocore you insist on YouTubing sans headphones.
11:38 AM Aug 19th, 2009 via web
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Dear Ill-tempered Gutterpunk,You're not being singled out;everyone has to sign up to use the computers.Fitting that you can't tell the diff.
11:37 AM Aug 19th, 2009 via web
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I guess I knew this day would come; there's a kid named Jay-Z in my library. I can't decide whether or not that's kind of awesome.
5:01 PM Apr 23rd, 2009 via txt
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Dear gutterpunks, Please refrain from attempting to steal library CDs right in front of me like I'm some kind of moron. Kthxbai.
2:15 PM Aug 29th, 2008 via Twitterrific
2:10 PM Feb 19th via TweetDeck
------
Yeah, thanks for the chocolate. But, you see, I have this policy about eating things that might have crazy on them.
2:25 PM Feb 11th via TweetDeck
------
Yes, very stoned young man, you may 'stop by again a little later'. There's no one-visit-per-day policy at the library.
1:02 PM Jan 25th via TweetDeck
------
Wow. A lot of people--a lot--tell me they're computer illiterate and they'll need lots of help. But you, sir, really weren't kidding around.
11:17 AM Dec 10th, 2009 via TweetDeck
------
Usually, more fragrant patrons are not my favorites. But you, Old Man Who Smells Like Pipe Smoke, can loiter by my desk as long as you want.
11:07 AM Oct 31st, 2009 via TweetDeck
------
I'm sure you're not thrilled that you smell like that either, but boy do I wish I hadn't leaned in to answer your question.
4:40 PM Oct 16th, 2009 via TweetDeck
------
Yeah, I can help you get to the FAFSA, but I can't really fill it out for you.
11:23 AM Oct 15th, 2009 via TweetDeck
------
No, plugging your phone into the USB port and copying photos off does not constitute using it as a modem. Yes, I'm sure.
4:12 PM Oct 14th, 2009 via TweetDeck
------
Sure, we have a phone book. But the computer you've been using for MySpace for 2 hrs is a *computer*. And it's connected to the *internet*.
12:38 PM Oct 13th, 2009 via TweetDeck
------
Sorry little fella; I'm afraid we don't have any real spellbooks from which you can learn to do real magic.
3:56 PM Oct 8th, 2009 via txt
------
Ma'am, I'm not the smartest librarian ever. Lots of us can help you to print a pdf. Thanks for the compliment. The hug was a little much.
3:57 PM Sep 24th, 2009 via txt
------
A year-old Grisham book? And we already have 12 copies? And it was discarded by a neighboring library? Such a donation! you're too kind.
7:27 PM Sep 21st, 2009 via TweetDeck
------
Listen, I'm not saying you're not cute. I'm just saying nobody in the library needs to see your crack.
3:23 PM Sep 18th, 2009 via txt
------
Look, old dude: Harlequin romances set in the old west are not the same thing as westerns. Nobody's judging, you're just not fooling anyone.
4:48 PM Sep 4th, 2009 via TweetDeck
------
No, you can't type on that PDF. Some PDFs, sure, but not that one. No, you didn't type on that PDF last time you were here, I assure you.
2:05 PM Sep 2nd, 2009 via web
------
Yes, we have your school's summer reading list. Sadly, all our copies of the books have been checked out for several weeks.
11:57 AM Aug 28th, 2009 via txt
------
Dear Old Man Swearing Under Your Breath, I don't think you're being as quiet as you think you are. Whatever; you make me smile every time.
2:59 PM Aug 26th, 2009 via TweetDeck
------
Also, nobody else wants to hear the emocore you insist on YouTubing sans headphones.
11:38 AM Aug 19th, 2009 via web
------
Dear Ill-tempered Gutterpunk,You're not being singled out;everyone has to sign up to use the computers.Fitting that you can't tell the diff.
11:37 AM Aug 19th, 2009 via web
------
I guess I knew this day would come; there's a kid named Jay-Z in my library. I can't decide whether or not that's kind of awesome.
5:01 PM Apr 23rd, 2009 via txt
------
Dear gutterpunks, Please refrain from attempting to steal library CDs right in front of me like I'm some kind of moron. Kthxbai.
2:15 PM Aug 29th, 2008 via Twitterrific
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