I don't know whether or not you're actually going fishing today, but thank you for wearing that vest to the library. Made my day.
Saturday, April 3, 2010
A Box of Old Letters
The idea for this blog came from the number of odd little tweets (some in the form of letters, some not) that day to day life in my public library had inspired. It seems a shame to leave them off.
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I can show you how to get there, sure. But if you don't know how to get to eBay, you're definitely not up to using it.
2:10 PM Feb 19th via TweetDeck
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Yeah, thanks for the chocolate. But, you see, I have this policy about eating things that might have crazy on them.
2:25 PM Feb 11th via TweetDeck
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Yes, very stoned young man, you may 'stop by again a little later'. There's no one-visit-per-day policy at the library.
1:02 PM Jan 25th via TweetDeck
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Wow. A lot of people--a lot--tell me they're computer illiterate and they'll need lots of help. But you, sir, really weren't kidding around.
11:17 AM Dec 10th, 2009 via TweetDeck
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Usually, more fragrant patrons are not my favorites. But you, Old Man Who Smells Like Pipe Smoke, can loiter by my desk as long as you want.
11:07 AM Oct 31st, 2009 via TweetDeck
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I'm sure you're not thrilled that you smell like that either, but boy do I wish I hadn't leaned in to answer your question.
4:40 PM Oct 16th, 2009 via TweetDeck
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Yeah, I can help you get to the FAFSA, but I can't really fill it out for you.
11:23 AM Oct 15th, 2009 via TweetDeck
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No, plugging your phone into the USB port and copying photos off does not constitute using it as a modem. Yes, I'm sure.
4:12 PM Oct 14th, 2009 via TweetDeck
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Sure, we have a phone book. But the computer you've been using for MySpace for 2 hrs is a *computer*. And it's connected to the *internet*.
12:38 PM Oct 13th, 2009 via TweetDeck
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Sorry little fella; I'm afraid we don't have any real spellbooks from which you can learn to do real magic.
3:56 PM Oct 8th, 2009 via txt
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Ma'am, I'm not the smartest librarian ever. Lots of us can help you to print a pdf. Thanks for the compliment. The hug was a little much.
3:57 PM Sep 24th, 2009 via txt
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A year-old Grisham book? And we already have 12 copies? And it was discarded by a neighboring library? Such a donation! you're too kind.
7:27 PM Sep 21st, 2009 via TweetDeck
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Listen, I'm not saying you're not cute. I'm just saying nobody in the library needs to see your crack.
3:23 PM Sep 18th, 2009 via txt
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Look, old dude: Harlequin romances set in the old west are not the same thing as westerns. Nobody's judging, you're just not fooling anyone.
4:48 PM Sep 4th, 2009 via TweetDeck
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No, you can't type on that PDF. Some PDFs, sure, but not that one. No, you didn't type on that PDF last time you were here, I assure you.
2:05 PM Sep 2nd, 2009 via web
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Yes, we have your school's summer reading list. Sadly, all our copies of the books have been checked out for several weeks.
11:57 AM Aug 28th, 2009 via txt
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Dear Old Man Swearing Under Your Breath, I don't think you're being as quiet as you think you are. Whatever; you make me smile every time.
2:59 PM Aug 26th, 2009 via TweetDeck
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Also, nobody else wants to hear the emocore you insist on YouTubing sans headphones.
11:38 AM Aug 19th, 2009 via web
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Dear Ill-tempered Gutterpunk,You're not being singled out;everyone has to sign up to use the computers.Fitting that you can't tell the diff.
11:37 AM Aug 19th, 2009 via web
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I guess I knew this day would come; there's a kid named Jay-Z in my library. I can't decide whether or not that's kind of awesome.
5:01 PM Apr 23rd, 2009 via txt
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Dear gutterpunks, Please refrain from attempting to steal library CDs right in front of me like I'm some kind of moron. Kthxbai.
2:15 PM Aug 29th, 2008 via Twitterrific
2:10 PM Feb 19th via TweetDeck
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Yeah, thanks for the chocolate. But, you see, I have this policy about eating things that might have crazy on them.
2:25 PM Feb 11th via TweetDeck
------
Yes, very stoned young man, you may 'stop by again a little later'. There's no one-visit-per-day policy at the library.
1:02 PM Jan 25th via TweetDeck
------
Wow. A lot of people--a lot--tell me they're computer illiterate and they'll need lots of help. But you, sir, really weren't kidding around.
11:17 AM Dec 10th, 2009 via TweetDeck
------
Usually, more fragrant patrons are not my favorites. But you, Old Man Who Smells Like Pipe Smoke, can loiter by my desk as long as you want.
11:07 AM Oct 31st, 2009 via TweetDeck
------
I'm sure you're not thrilled that you smell like that either, but boy do I wish I hadn't leaned in to answer your question.
4:40 PM Oct 16th, 2009 via TweetDeck
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Yeah, I can help you get to the FAFSA, but I can't really fill it out for you.
11:23 AM Oct 15th, 2009 via TweetDeck
------
No, plugging your phone into the USB port and copying photos off does not constitute using it as a modem. Yes, I'm sure.
4:12 PM Oct 14th, 2009 via TweetDeck
------
Sure, we have a phone book. But the computer you've been using for MySpace for 2 hrs is a *computer*. And it's connected to the *internet*.
12:38 PM Oct 13th, 2009 via TweetDeck
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Sorry little fella; I'm afraid we don't have any real spellbooks from which you can learn to do real magic.
3:56 PM Oct 8th, 2009 via txt
------
Ma'am, I'm not the smartest librarian ever. Lots of us can help you to print a pdf. Thanks for the compliment. The hug was a little much.
3:57 PM Sep 24th, 2009 via txt
------
A year-old Grisham book? And we already have 12 copies? And it was discarded by a neighboring library? Such a donation! you're too kind.
7:27 PM Sep 21st, 2009 via TweetDeck
------
Listen, I'm not saying you're not cute. I'm just saying nobody in the library needs to see your crack.
3:23 PM Sep 18th, 2009 via txt
------
Look, old dude: Harlequin romances set in the old west are not the same thing as westerns. Nobody's judging, you're just not fooling anyone.
4:48 PM Sep 4th, 2009 via TweetDeck
------
No, you can't type on that PDF. Some PDFs, sure, but not that one. No, you didn't type on that PDF last time you were here, I assure you.
2:05 PM Sep 2nd, 2009 via web
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Yes, we have your school's summer reading list. Sadly, all our copies of the books have been checked out for several weeks.
11:57 AM Aug 28th, 2009 via txt
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Dear Old Man Swearing Under Your Breath, I don't think you're being as quiet as you think you are. Whatever; you make me smile every time.
2:59 PM Aug 26th, 2009 via TweetDeck
------
Also, nobody else wants to hear the emocore you insist on YouTubing sans headphones.
11:38 AM Aug 19th, 2009 via web
------
Dear Ill-tempered Gutterpunk,You're not being singled out;everyone has to sign up to use the computers.Fitting that you can't tell the diff.
11:37 AM Aug 19th, 2009 via web
------
I guess I knew this day would come; there's a kid named Jay-Z in my library. I can't decide whether or not that's kind of awesome.
5:01 PM Apr 23rd, 2009 via txt
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Dear gutterpunks, Please refrain from attempting to steal library CDs right in front of me like I'm some kind of moron. Kthxbai.
2:15 PM Aug 29th, 2008 via Twitterrific
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